I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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