Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
