He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
