i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
