Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
