I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
