This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
