Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
