Say something about gay babies.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
