Non-Jews are for practice
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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