He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
