So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
