dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
time to smoke my breakfast
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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