Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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