Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
These tits shall not be calmed
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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