His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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