We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
organizing the empties. That sober.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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