I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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