Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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