yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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