New invention idea: vibrating tampons
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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