never play flip cup with pint glasses
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
