im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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