im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
