So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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