adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
