i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
