why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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