I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
did i walk over a car last night?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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