I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
