can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
