Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
