Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
