peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
