Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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