Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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