is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
