just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
