Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Randomize