You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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