My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
