He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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