Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
