if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
