You work out of a Hotel?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
