wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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