Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
