i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
