Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
