dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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