I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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