are you still at the devil's house?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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