Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
